REFLECTION, written in September 2001
Over the years, I have been encouraged to describe the process of creating the Theatre Workshop program at John Marshall High School (1995 - 2001). My interpretation of how it all began, what the program grew to be, the benefits it gave to its students and the community over the years, and also, how it impacted my life artistically, professionally and personally.
The challenge in doing this, of course, was that while working on the program, actively participating in all the many aspects of teaching and creating that it entailed, I simply never found the time and/or the proper frame of mind to reflect specifically on how we were doing what we were doing. Truthfully, it also felt too instinctual a process to even begin to put words to. I realize though, how important such a reflection is on a personal level as much as any other, and so, now finding myself on a break from teaching full-time and finally, with a bit of perspective and distance, I am interested in trying to figure it all out.
Theatre Workshop: A Reflection
I came to the teaching profession on a hunch and an instinct. I had no real concept of what it meant to actually work in a public school system as a teacher, but felt somehow I might be good at it, that it might make me happy in ways that had been previously elusive to me. I also had no idea how I would be able to use my talents in the arts since the first position being offered to me was that of a long-term English substitute teacher. But on a leap of faith, in September of 1994, I accepted the job at John Marshall High School in the Los Feliz section of LA. I would be lying to say that I was immediately a natural success as a teacher. In fact, it was constantly challenging, grueling and sometimes even depressing. Though the student population was wonderfully diverse and energetic, the majority of students in my classes were limited as to their English proficiency and most proved not to be naturally disciplined or motivated by their classes. As a long-term substitute, it is common to be assigned those classes that are filled with hard-to-place students and those who have been bumped from one teacher to another. It was exhausting in most ways imaginable, but something was happening inside of me that I was becoming more and more conscious of. It was a sense, a bit stronger with each passing day, that I had found something I truly cared about and that I had a natural aptitude and affinity for. I realized that I had a place to go every day where I could make a difference, doing a job that was truly important and, after a few months, I began to achieve a great amount of satisfaction. I soon found the job to be as creative as anything I had ever done, and the creativity was flowing almost incessantly, practically nonstop.
Nearly a year after I began teaching, I noticed the school was lacking a strong performing arts element to its curriculum. By then a contracted teacher, I asked to develop a class called Theatre Workshop, which I envisioned offering students an overview of the performing arts with acting, dancing and singing components. The truth is, I had no further concrete plan or vision as to how the class would function or what its goals would be beyond giving the students and me a chance to work every day at developing performing arts skills. Because it had been so important in my life, I presumed it would be worthwhile to these young people as well. The first day, eleven students showed up, not nearly enough to form a class. These eleven students quickly recruited and convinced friends to take the class. By the end of the week, we had about 25 students, with talent or prior experience obviously not a prerequisite. We had enough to make a real attempt, though exactly how to proceed was less than obvious. Though from the beginning, I realized a few important things. For instance, I discovered immediately that these students, a rich multicultural mix, needed lots of games and ice breaker exercises in order to feel comfortable and confident enough to speak in front of each other, let alone to begin to create theater and dance pieces, or to become confident enough to perform them. Also, I soon realized that while many of the students had a great deal of natural talent, it was untrained and raw and required a generous and patient spirit to channel it into more structured concepts such as choreography, staging and scripted dialogues. Most important, I discovered the extent of incredible situations that these students had experienced and were continuing to confront and that what these students had endured and survived in their own lives was far more riveting and moving than could be found in the more typical, conventional and overused high school drama/ musical canon. It was clear to me that the real potential of the program lay in the diversity and the experiences of the students themselves their lives, their points of view and their reaction to the world around them; where they had been, where they are, where they were headed in their lives.
The Theatre Workshop program lived and grew for six years after that first section of the class opened. With each passing semester and year, with each new cast and production, the class and the program's popularity and import continued to grow -- obviously well beyond anyone's original expectations. It was in many ways a complex evolution, yet at the same time, quite simple -- the program became quite a phenomenon. By the last year, the class had become extremely popular on Marshalls campus. I was teaching a full performing arts program, with waiting lists and personal interviews necessary for enrollment. I still did not require potential students to audition. I had seen too many examples of students whose talents and confidence blossomed only after several months of training and after reaching a comfort level sufficient to allow personal breakthroughs. Of course, talent and experience was always a great plus for the program, but, truly, I believed (and still do) that any student can profit from an opportunity to work in the performing arts, and real growth in this area is almost a certainty for all involved. What I looked for primarily in these informal, student interviews was attitude, energy, curiosity and commitment. In addition, I also grew to love the leveling ground that had been created by programming in this way. I can think of no other class outside of the arts, where recent immigrants still struggling with the English language, proficient college-bound AP scholars and everyone in between have the opportunity to work side-by-side in such a mutually respectful and supportive way.
Another originally unforeseen highlight for me occurred with the inclusion of faculty members, local elementary school children, even area senior citizens in our shows. Specifically, the opportunity for my students to work closely (and truth be told, to lead) with teachers and community members in dances, scenes and musical numbers altered the schools student/teacher dynamic considerably, and very tangibly raised the spirit and morale on campus. Ten original, large-scale presentations were mounted before I left Marshall to enter UCLAs Department of World Arts and Cultures in the fall of 2001 as a MFA candidate/ fellow. In retrospect, I realize that much of what occurred with the Theatre Workshop program gave credence and support to my initial hunches as I began that first experimental class -- that the arts can still be a monumentally positive and enlightening experience in the development of young people. I also know that much of what came to be remains a surprise and a delight.
Above all, I now realize that my initial sense that the students themselves were the most important factor in creating the dances and the scenes, and developing the themes for our larger productions, proved to be my most intuitively successful call. In the six years of the program, we were able to establish definite steps and procedures necessary to create a proper foundation for the work to be done. This foundation became crucial in order to begin uncovering the personal and revealing work for which we have since become known and admired. The reality of these young peoples lives is often so extraordinary, so harrowing, that very little already written or what could have been scripted from my imagination ever proved to be as resonant or poignant. My job in this area was to aid the kids in bringing their emotions safely to the surface and to help them find the words to express what they already know and feel. Obviously then, the concepts of trust and respect became monumentally important and an ongoing goal. With an emotionally safe setting established, (and this can take a good amount of time to accomplish depending on the particular group of students), they felt free to discover how much they could really blossom as writers and performers. Also, since the early days, the dances consistently became more complex and textured and varied, the dancers more skilled and confident. I take great pride in the extent to which the majority of students improved technically and stylistically. In turn, I am grateful beyond words for all that the students inspired in me when constructing the dances, as well as how much they have taught me about various cultural, social and hip-hop dance styles.
The results of our work has been overwhelmingly positive; the school and community reaction to it, astounding. By using their own stories and their own points of view, by being co-creators in the organic development of the shows we presented, my students were afforded the opportunity to not only grow as performers and people, but also to raise their tragedies and realities to the level of art, perhaps the highest level of expression there is. For most, the performing arts has functioned as healer, communicator and therapist; for many, it provided the structure and expectations that had been missing in their lives. Had I not worked so deeply and so well with the several hundreds of open and brave students I met during the last six years, I might never have truly known the immense power and potency of the arts. Especially important in the lives of these youngsters who have so much to offer, but who have so often been misjudged and misrepresented. It has been no easy task, and I had countless trying moments along the way, but I now see that every crisis and trying moment yielded countless precious anecdotes about how this young man or that young woman was, in essence, thrown a lifeline from this program. A lifeline that was most often eagerly caught, and just as often, quite literally saved their lives.
The facts are that most of the at-risk students, through their participation in the program, remained in school, maintained good grades, improved their language arts skills, obtained a sense of personal and group confidence and direction and, overall, learned how to make positive and healthy life choices that we all hope will continue to transform and inform them in their futures. Some have even developed the skills and confidence required to actually win roles in television, film, video, the recording industry and professional dance worlds. In the end, I came to see that the overall theme to all the shows we have created and presented was hope that despite the numerous reasons why these students should be considered victims and burdens, they found a way to show their true value and potential through those moments on stage. Audiences, therefore, were able to leave our performances inspired, knowing that most of the students involved may just find the same kind of hope and possibility in their actual lives.
On a personal level, I feel as though not only have I had the privilege of knowing and guiding these wonderful young people through various obstacles and challenges at very difficult points in their lives, but at the same time I have been able to define myself and my work. I have become an arts educator with invaluable experiences to draw from and much to share. As my former students all know because I have felt free to tell them on many occasions, I am profoundly grateful to them for helping me become a better teacher, artist and person. They are all forever in my heart.